How it Might Feel to be a Free Agent

It might be odd to say, and then again it might not be, but today I felt a piece of my soul drift away. The fact that it took me an entire month to finally quit LA Boxing should say something. As should the fact that I made my wife call to cancel the membership. It just feels painful to close that chapter of my life. Maybe a gym membership isn’t a big deal for everyone, but in a way it felt like part of who I am. Back when I joined LA Boxing I seemed to have more time on my hands. Work was not as stressful and difficult and I was able to leave before 5:00 PM. Traffic on Rt. 50 also wasn’t as bad, and I was able to get to the gym in time for the 6:30 boxing class.

Recently this has become impossible, and the fact that it is baseball season and my life is all consumed with baseball doesn’t help. In years past I was able to grab nights at the gym when I could, but with heavier traffic and a busier work schedule it just became impossible. It is really no fault of LA Boxing, and here is where this all connects back to baseball. Adam Dunn loves it in DC. The Nationals supposedly love Adam Dunn. It seems like a match made in heaven, but forces beyond the control of either party might keep a deal from happening.

Dunn has had one of the best seasons of his career and it is largely due to the fact that he now plays at first base. His defensive importance has decreased by moving to the only defensive position less important than left field. Dunn’s nature as a defensive liability no longer completely outweighs his offensive production. Of course other players of Dunn’s skill set have seen sharp declines in productions in their earlier 30’s, an age that Dunn is just now reaching. If Dunn wants too many years it might not be a match for the Nationals, and if the Nationals aren’t willing to pay the money Dunn thinks he should get then it isn’t a match for Dunn.

I am now positive from my personal experience that both sides will feel the way I do. LA Boxing was perfect for me. I got to hit things. I also got to do cardio (which I hate doing) in a fun and interactive manner. Let’s face it, standing on a treadmill or elliptical machine for 30 minutes is one of the most boring experiences in the world. Hitting a punching bag and then dropping to the floor for push-ups or sit-ups is fun. I do not have a bad word to say about the place. It lost my business not because of something it did, but simply because of the logistics of its location.

Sometimes we want things to work out, but they just don’t. I am positive Dunn isn’t lying when he says he enjoys being a National. He will never forget his experience here and I am sure he has built a lasting friendship with Ryan Zimmerman, and Josh Willingham. The nice shiny gym I go to now doesn’t have a set schedule. I can come and go when I please, but when I want to do cardio I have to get on a boring elliptical or treadmill, and while I missed weight training a bit in my time at LA Boxing I am sure I will miss the punching bag even more.

One day when I get a house I will have a room in my basement. It will have a TV to watch baseball on, bookshelves on every wall, a fridge full of beer, and hanging right in the middle will be a big punching bag. I can’t imagine how useful this will be when a National’s hitter grounds into a double play. Right now my wrath is taken out on whatever household object happens to be in my hand. My wife and I’s dog is always very concerned when anyone is upset, and he often checks on me as I sit there screaming, “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” at whoever the offender is.

Living in a 500 square foot condo has a lot of downsides, and one of the main ones for me right now is my wife likes to spend time with me. That doesn’t sound so bad when I say it like that, and I might make myself sound like a monster here, but she doesn’t think I am me when I am watching baseball. Either I am cussing at a perceived injustice a player has committed just for me, or I am drawn into the action and unresponsive to her constant chatter. She feels that being away from me all day entitles her to get to spend time with me without realizing that I have also been away from baseball all day as well.

Of course with modern technology I am never that far away. I can whip out my smart phone and look up baseball news, or cruise on over to my favorite baseball websites on my work computer. In this new modern world we are never truly detached. When we first started dating she would get a little upset at me when I would look at my phone to get the scores, but now she is used to it. Sometimes she reminds me that she is a living person and my phone is just an electronic device, but she fails to understand that it is informing me about baseball. That while I might be married to her in the eyes of God and the law I am also married to baseball. Baseball has crawled into my blood and soaked through my skin. It is a part of me.

When I see the letters SB, CS, K, BB, or any other combination that exists in baseball my mind actually thinks they mean that scoring. During the BP oil spill I kept wondering who was spilling all this oil during batting practice. And it is for this reason that sitting here thinking about how much I will miss my time at LA Boxing that I have a sudden feeling that I know what it is like to be a free agent leaving a place that is truly loved for no other reason than it simply couldn’t work out.